This post is honestly disgusting.
Don’t read unless you a. enjoy others’ misfortunes or b. are looking for some mental relief and empathy (not advice) while dealing with a family stomach bug.
You’ve been warned..
We throw up in this family. My sons are pretty good at it. At one and a half and two and a half, they have probably had more of these sessions than me in my twenty seven years. No, they don’t have a medical condition and no, they aren’t suffering from baby eating disorders, they just throw up. I didn’t know this about my husband before bearing his offspring, but as a child he had an extremely weak stomach. It wasn’t uncommon for him to be in the thinking chair at school for throwing up in his lunch box.
The Rhino’s weak stomach has been evolving through his thirty-some months of life. I can’t make him chew a piece of food that has an odd texture or is funny in anyway (I learned that the hard way in a doner restaurant) and I need to always have a deep enough tupperware in close proximity.
The bone hasn’t disappointed in this arena ever. He started this behavior as soon as he was born and had a little too much milk to drink. The greatest compliment a mother can receive is to have her child gag at the site of her milk producing bosoms. The bone did this multiple times a day, everyday, it made me feel so good.
We have been sticking to ourselves inside this week to fight off this creeper bug that keeps lurking. It has been unpredictable, there are no symptoms for 24 hours and then BAMM! IN YOUR FACE! There they are, both boys, barfing in the living room, one on the rug and one on the couch. Is it this pesky bug or is it because The Bone choked on a piece of popcorn and then, seeing his vomit, triggered The Rhino’s weak stomach? We will never know. What we do know is: a bowl full of freshly popped popcorn makes a great vomit catcher (we know this even though we caught only half of it and by we, I mean my husband….there was hesitation, thoughts of salvaging the popcorn). He learned a valuable lesson about hesitation and vomit.
After tonight’s session, I sprayed our Thai Airlines air freshener throughout the house. The sweet sugar and lemongrass fragrance takes me back to that vacation so righteously. We had just taken off from the Seoul airport and were excitedly preparing for the first leg of our 5 hour flight to paradise when The Rhino let loose in his seat. That was the second outfit change of the trip. The third came after the session on our second flight. The next throw up, on that flight again, required a rerun of the original not-quite-as-dirty outfit. The beautiful Thai flight attendants covered the smell (kind of, it never really goes away) with this air freshener and then they gave me one as a souvenir. I tucked away in my backpack. I’m sure they didn’t realize where that bottle would travel. Oh, the places it would go, the half digested meals it would meet.
The Chilis restaurant in Germany would be the next destination. A stomach bug hit our home the first week we got here. We were in a hotel and we didn’t have any transportation so we stayed inside and kept our germs to ourselves (like good mommy law abiding citizens). Then, a week passed, the symptoms subsided and we thought we were in the clear. Just as we received four plates of food, on a busy Friday night, The Rhino strikes again. It made its way in to two of the four plates of food and all over the floor. We will never eat there again even if they do allow us back.
Vomit is a big part of my life as a mother. These are three of the thirty stories I have. Other stories include little piles of vomit from a popsicle touching the back of The Rhino’s throat and him gagging from the sight of spilled applesauce on the floor as he sings “I think I’m about to throw up” (with a “Don’t worry, be happy” up-beat tune). I will spare you any more for I wouldn’t want you to be grossed out or anything. If you got this far and you are not a mother yet, I don’t think this is normal, don’t worry.
This is when I should say something like” its all worth it when…” but it’s not, I won’t joke. Vomit sucks. Every time. The only silver lining in my children’s’ situation is the laugh my husband and I share after we’ve spent an hour cleaning it all up. We don’t like that our babes get sick or feel uncomfortable and we usually want to cry but laughing is a far better reaction (that and writing a revolting but therapeutic blog post).
I hope your vomit adventures are short lived. Happy sanitizing!